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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
99% sure my soulmate is a piece of pizza.
I`m really sick and tired of food having calories...
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the JetsonΒ΄s by 2011?
Remember waffles are just pancakes ribbed for your pleasure
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
I get so tired of the same old BS...canΒ΄t I get a little BS variety?
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.