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Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
We can put laser-equipped robots on Mars, but wrinkled dollar bills still don’t work in vending machines?
So who the heck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
I’m over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?