Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
I`m not fat, God gave me built in airbags because I`m so precious.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
Someone smells like cigarettes and bad decisions.......Oh it`s me? Sorry about that.