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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.