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Who´s up for Candyland? $20 buy in
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I`m a great husband
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
There is a 99.9% chance I am hungry.
If a dwarf smokes weed does he get high or medium?