Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he`s homeless or just tired from breakdancing.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
Really offended that these microwave instructions told me to turn my burrito over gently like I don`t treat every burrito with the utmost respect
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...