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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
You know you`re getting older when your friends start using the term "Pregnant" instead of "Knocked Up"
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?