Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one appreciates the special genius of your conversation like the dog does
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
Hearing jokes is always 100 times funnier when you have water in your mouth.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
There`s no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt...
Beauty is only a light switch away...
I`m just like the ghostbusters, except I chase squirrels around my neighborhood with a vacuum cleaner
I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
"You`re going to love my friend. He`s hilarious." is still the best way to know you`re about to meet an annoying person.
New Game: Attach a mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.