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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
I don’t know how your day is going, but I just got lucky on the couch! Yep, I found a dollar!