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...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
I used to dream about becoming an astronaut. Now I just dream that there`s still time before the alarm goes off.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
Man, the first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
If it weren`t for marriage,,, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie