Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet you $567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what I’m talking about.
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it`s obvious he had no idea how letters work.
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
Long story short, I love summaries
The only thing more amusing than someone leaving a voicemail is them asking if you actually listened to it.
I wanna be rich enough to have 11 little people who run out of my closet every morning dressed as a nascar pit crew to make my bed really fast.