Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
Weird how βnewsβ and βfact checkingβ are treated like two separate concepts these days.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
In grade school itβs called bullying but when you get older itβs referred to as upper level management.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticatedβ¦but canβt pronounce it.
No one has ever been in an empty room.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
I`m sure the guy standing at the urinal next to me, regrets wearing those flip flops today.