Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
Did you know that one minute of kissing burns 26 calories? No wonder those sluts are so damn skinny.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I’ve realized I get ridiculously nervous driving behind semi’s or trucks carrying sh!t that could fall out and impale me all because of final destination 2.
Turtles make an awesome jogging buddy.
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
Condoms prevent minivans.
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
My favorite beer is the 15th one.