Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
I hate when people passive-aggressively post vague, indirect statuses. You know who you are...
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet