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Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
I wish I could veto MY bills.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
Wait, there`s a "wrong hole"?
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
Heads up, peeps. There are over 700 fake Obamacare sites ready to swipe your info. Pro tip: The real site is the one that doesn`t work...
Hockey is much better if you imagine the teams are fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
If I could time travel, I`d make sure the guy who made up the word Walkie-Talkie got to name more things.
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."