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Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.