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Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
You know you are paranoid when you think this joke is about you.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
“Nevermind.” Translation... You should’ve listened the first time.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.