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Who says nothing is impossible. I´ve been doing nothing for years.
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
The older I get the more I understand Squidward`s anger.
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
48 states observe daylight savings time. The other two clock block.
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.