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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
My new year`s resolution is to stop making new year`s resolutions.
It was all so different before everything changed.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well