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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I`m going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
If I throw a stick will you leave?
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score…
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.
I’m having a free beer contest tonight. The 1st person to bring me a case of beer gets to watch me drink it. FOR FREE!