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I’m cutting the sleeves off my Snuggie because it makes me look more badass.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
“Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
why we do not have a romance class...............
My whole life is based on a true story...
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.