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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
You poor thing. You don`t even realize you`re batsh!t crazy, do you?
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
I asked my kid “do you know why we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” He said, “Sure! It’s so we know when to start Christmas shopping!”
To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.