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A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
The trouble with bucket seats is that, not everybody has the same size bucket.
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.