Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel