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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
You know you`re getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
My IQ? ... With google or without?
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.