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i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.