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If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
I’ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
It`s never good when Human Resources sends you an email and the subject line is "Your Facebook Activity".
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.