Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
I hate when I`m on Facebook and I`m rudly interrupted by a jogger bouncing off my windshield
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
Imagine being naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.