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LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
My buddy asked me the other night if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him that I`m married now and that`s where I sleep.
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”