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FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: "Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?"
I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
Mom said angels are watching over me. I`m just afraid they`re taking notes to make sure I go to hell.
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.