Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion, the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
I accidentally spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.