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My goal today is to lose this hangover and earn another
My support group can outdrink your support group.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
HR have advised that Iām not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
After I drink coffee I show my empty mug to the IT guy and tell him I`ve successfully installed Java. He hates me.