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New day, same old bullsh!t
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
If you see me out somewhere and act like you didn`t, you should know that I ignored you first.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!