Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
I thought 70 was the new 50, but the cop still gave me a ticket.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
My cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it`s giving me serious ideas, folks
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.