Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
He died doing what he loved: telling me I`m overreacting.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
I`m that friend you have to explain to people before you introduce me... And apologize for after.