Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
Cant imagine the look on Obamas face when he saw `Olympus Has Fallen`..His next quote would have been.."No more Taiwans in the secret Elevetor office"
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
According to my roommate`s diary, I have boundary issues.
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.