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This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.