Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
I was in a taxi and the driver said "I love my job. I`m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That`s really great, now take a left here."
I think salads help you lose weight because they`re gross and you end up not eating them
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
So far my only real accomplishment in life has been not having kids.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
If you`re ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted