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I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
Imagine how creepy the first guy to dress up as a clown must have been, where in hell did he get that idea?
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] β¦Smells like glass, doesnβt it
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.