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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden