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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
My baby girl is so polite. I told her she needed to share and she said "No, thank you"
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
Pool is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
My bed is half full - Lonely optimist.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.
Iām actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.