Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
Wonders why there´s an ice cream truck for kids but not a frozen Margaurita truck for adults?
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.