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So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house ... It was delicious.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?