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Jesus is coming.... look busy
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.