Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
Football Logic: Your team won: Celebrate with beers! Your team lost: Better drown my sorrows in some beer.
The next time you feel you’re worthless…. just remember…. your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
We`ll be friends `til we`re old and senile ... Then we`ll be new friends.
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.