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That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Liking something on Facebook instead of commenting is like nodding at someone in an elevator instead of saying hello.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
I’m always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.