Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes late at night, I dig a hole in the back yard to keep the nosey neighbor`s guessing.
Is there anyone called Phillip here? I found your screwdriver.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason" I`d like to smack them and say "yeah, I guess you`re right"
Being a Zombie doesn`t sound that bad. You don`t have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
Life`s short ... Drink fast
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....