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I saved someone`s life today. Well, I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of some idiot. That`s the same thing, right?
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
I just ran a .003048K