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Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
Lol at birds that walk places.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
Cops love donuts…. just not when you do them on a four lane highway.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Getting my kids to the airport always feels like I`m recreating the first 10 minutes of "Home Alone."
Word for today: Dipshidiot
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
I think stupid people were put on this earth to test my anger management skills.