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I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends."
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
U make me wish I had more middle fingers
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
I’m dedicating this status update to all the status-less people out there. Stay strong.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!