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You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
Bacon...need I say more
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?