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If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
What`s it called when it`s 9:20am and you can`t wait for dinner? Oh, it`s called fat. Nevermind.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
My number was 0...
Wal-Mart: Because going to Target requires a shower.
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.