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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
If you are noticing this notice, you will have noticed this notice is not worth noticing
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.