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I wish someone would steal my identity, fix it and and give it back...
I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
Right now my glass is half empty...Hey Bartender!!!
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
You know you had an awesome night when you need sunglasses to get food out the fridge.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.