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My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
Just heard a lady say "When in doubt, get a pizza"... I don`t know who this woman is but she`s my new life coach.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
gua suka sama kamu