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Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
Sometimes I don`t go big just so I can go home.
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
There would be a lot less people willing to run for public office if the losers were required to pick up all the lawn signs afterwards.
Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you donβt get her a size S with a gift receipt, youβre an a$$hole.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me Iβm pretty.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.