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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
There`s a time and place for wine, In my hand and now.
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
I`ve reached that time of day between "coffee wearing off" and "murdering my co-worker."
when i have children im going to make them watch 2012 and tell them i survived all of that.
Man, that .01% of germs that can´t be killed by hand sanitizer must be some bad a$$ sh!t
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
I’m drinking because you’re talking.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
Life`s too short for Salad..............
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!