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I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn`t what I thought it was.
I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Safe words are for quitters.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
Who called them fake potatoes and not imitaters.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.