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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk