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It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
Repeat after me: It doesn’t matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won’t solve it.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
I drink coffee for your protection.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?